Bradford – Incidents occur on a weekly basis to me
I find myself shocked at the stories on your site, not because of the specific details of them but because of the commonality of them. Im a 40yr old woman and I have lived in Bradford all of my life, incidents of street harrassment have been a common theme throughout my adulthood. I have always felt that there was “something” about me that attracted these incidents and I wont go into details about the huge and negative impact that has had on my self esteem and self image as I now realise in that cliched way “im not alone”.
incidents occur on a weekly basis but I include some of the more memorable ones:
I have had men approach me when im with my son and make vulgar sexualised comments, men have approached me and said variations of “fucking ugly/ugly bitch/jesus I wouldnt fuck you”. I have also been approached by men who have assumed I would be keen to partake of sex with them and seemed outraged when I havent been appreciative of their advances.
Whilst walking my son to school when he was about 8yrs old we had to walk past a chicken processing factory, the streets outside the factory were crowded with parents and children going to school, one of a group of men at the factory yelled sexualised suggestions at me, i was embarrassed as much for my son as myself, my retort “I dont think so mate, you work in a fucking chicken factory”.
Last summer as I got off of the bus in bradford a man got off the bus directly behind me, in full view of everyone on the bus and everyone on the street he grabbed my arse and said “you have a beautiful backside”, all I could do was yell “fuck off”.
I could go on and on with the number of incidents ive experienced, we take them as par for the course, its an occupational hazzard of being a woman isnt it. If I were slightly less loving of human kind i could learn to hate heterosexual men and view them all as predatory apes.
I realise now that the sense of dread I feel on approaching a building site, or crossing the road when the traffic has stopped is not unique to me. More recently I have learned to drive and I am protected from some of the harrassment which I used to get at bus stops and on public transport but I still experience men stopping their cars alongside mine at traffic lights and making crude gestures.
I am just an average bradford woman, I dress very conservatively, there is nothing that makes me stand out from the crowd and yet the fact that im saying that could be interpreted as an attempt to distance myself from the woman who do “stand out from the crowd”, far from it, the common theme for all of us is that we are women. If it was only “attractive” women who were hassled on the street or seen as “deserving” of the attention then why have I been approached by men telling me how unattractive I am?
until recently i have concluded that there is “something about me” that leads men to think they can say and do as they please towards me on the street, I now appreciate that “there is something about society”
Sexually Assaulted in Leeds train station
A few years back I was in Leeds train station coming out of McDonalds. A male grabbed me in a sexual manner, I fought back and hit him. I was arrested for assault as a Police Officer saw, he was not arrested or even questioned.
`Bus groper creep` – Woodhouse Lane
On a very crowded bus, with every seat taken and passengers standing, I was sitting in a window seat with a man on the aisle seat next to me. He had his hand on his lap and it looked like he was slowly inching it towards my leg. At fist, I dismissed the thought. It was very busy and we were squashed against each other like everyone else – personal space is rather reduced on busy public transport. But after a couple of minutes he stretched his finger out and tried to but his hand on my leg, no doubt about it. I turned to face him and opened my mouth to challenge him, but he jumped up out of his seat, bumping into other passengers, fell over as the bus came to a stop, and swiftly got off, avoiding my glare as the bus drove off. Creep.
My letter the Yorkshire Eve Post eventually printed
I wrote this letter on Sunday 4th December 2011 following attending the Reclaim the Night March in Leeds the evening before. It was printed on Thursday 8th Dec after I contacted them again to ask why it hadnt been published
An open letter to the people of Leeds
I don’t know what you all did this weekend, but Saturday evening rather than staying in watching TV, or going out for some drinks, I got the train from Calderdale to attend the annual Reclaim the Night march in Leeds. Although they started in Leeds 1977 in response to the Yorkshire Ripper and the suggestion that women should stay inside in they wish to be safe from violence and sexual assault in the City this was the third event I had attended.
As I met with over 100 other women all ready to `reclaim the streets,` raise awareness of the low rape conviction rate and issue of violence against women. I know lots of you were also out on the town and having a nice evening, some of you saw us and waved, or took a leaflet, or looked bemused at a big group of women all wrapped up protesting in Leeds at 7pm on a Saturday night. However, I’m wondering what it was that led a percentage of people we passed to react to us with such a degree of hostility, violence and aggression?
I’ve both worked and socialised in Leeds before, so why have I never encountered this level of abuse in the past? I don’t understand why a large group of men verbally threatened me two minutes into the march, and shouted in my face comments so sexualized and lewd that this paper wouldn’t print them even if I wrote them down. I wonder if they knew how shocked and saddened this made me feel?
As we passed with our banners and chants, did the people who acted in this manner not think we could easily have been their wives, grandmothers, sisters, partners, aunts or daughters, what was it about what we were doing that made some people act this way towards us?
I wonder if the group who stood in a line and swore, shouted and threw plastic bottles full of liquid at us near the dark arches would let me know what angered them so much about a group of women walking through the City protesting against violence against women? Why did this make you violent?
I would love to ask the angry middle aged man outside the Northern Monkey pub on the headrow if he knows how scary I found him when he was shouting and swearing at me? Did he know that I thought he was going to assault me or another member of the group? What made him follow screaming, demanding we come back so he could shout at us more when we tried to walk away?
To what extent where the threats, violence, aggression and hostility toned dowN because some of us had small children with us? I wonder if those reacting in this way noticed them? Was it because we were women? Was it because we were protesting? Was it because you believed women ARE actually safe from violence and threats on the street of Leeds, and that this event has no place in the City?
These aren’t rhetorical questions, I’ve been wondering the reasons all day and would like an answer if anyone can offer me one. What was it all about?
I stopped street harassment TWICE in 24hrs!
Hello I am co-founder of this site and I thought I should post my experiences over the past weekend as they are totally positive! Its not over the top to say that I stopped street harassment in its tracks not once, but TWICE!
On Saturday night I got the train back to Mytholmroyd, my husband stood up to get off and was quite a bit ahead of me. I was faffing about with my bag or something when a man said to me `come on love, cheer up, smile` not that I had a sad face at the time I dont think (not that its any of his business really how my face is) I just looked straight at him and said `Don’t tell me what to do` he just looked at me and looked out of the window. RESULT! I felt very proud.
The second experience was Sunday afternoon in Halifax town centre, I was crossing the road to meet my friends to watch some Roller Derby, dressed normally for a Sunday, in a dress, leggings, boots, coat. I was stopped from crossing by traffic and I looked up to see a car with four men in it, they all looked at me in what I would decsribe as a leary manner and one wound the windown down. It was one of those, `oh bloody hell its going to happen` moments. The one in the front passenger seat was looking right at me and opened his mouth and I dont know where it came from but I pulled the most `I dont think so Mr` face (maybe you would describe it as `fierce’) and slowly shook my head looking right at him. He saw me doing this, shut his mouth and rolled the window back up. Stopped right in his harassment tracks!
`MILF`
I hadn’t really given much thought to street harassment and someone was talking about it at work, a few weekends ago in Brighouse I was out with my two little girls, pushing one of them in the pushchair on a Saturday afternoon, when a group of men in a car slowed right down and shouted `MILF` (Mother I’d like to Fuck) at me, they then drove off. I wasnt too bothered about it at the time, but thinking about im pleased my older girl (5) didnt hear or ask what was happening,can you imagine? `Mummy, whats a MILF` not a conversation I fancy having at all. Not nice in front of my children and I really didnt expect it in Brighouse.
`How am I expected to feel safe?`
I have lived in Leeds now for no more than a month. I used to live in a sleepy village where, sure, people gossiped about me blah blah, but I never had a man harrass me in the street or on a night out. Already, I have been asked to ‘Get my rat out’, been called a ‘fat bitch’ for helping a guy get through a crowd and was spiked last week (luckily I had a first aider out with me). How am I expected to feel safe when these people are harrassing me on a daily basis? And how do other women put up with this?!
Eggs thrown & called a Slut in LS6
A friends post on her facebook status about having things thrown at her yesterday just reminded me of something that happened to me a few years ago in Headingley. I worked in a Hotel and was walking back home along Otley Road at about 10.30pm. I was wearing my (grim & formal) uniform of blue nylon blazer and knee length skirt with a horrible white blouse when a car full of men went past and threw two eggs at me and shouted `SLUT`. I was really shaken and ran the rest of the distance home. I look back now and think what a bunch of tossers, but at the time it really stressed me out, I dont think I told anyone about it either, well till now.
